After being in the dating world for the past eight years I still can not figure out the game. I have had several relationships in the last 8 years that were great, and for lots of reasons did not work out. However, as far as ongoing dating goes I am still clueless. Maybe I completely miss the cues? Possibly, however, being trained in human behavior I don’t think that is quite it. Several times now I have been asked out on a first date or set up by a friend.
We hit it off, and immediately he asks me out for a second date, which is set for within the same week.
As I am not into playing games, I accept because why not? Life is short, and if you like someone why not get to know him? The second date goes even better than the first one! As he walks me to my car, he asks my schedule so we can figure out the next time we can see each other. He even kisses me goodnight and says he will call me tomorrow to set up when we can next meet. One of those great first kisses that leaves me a little giddy, and keeps a smile on my face all the way home.
SECOND DATE AND WAIT SYNDROME
And then, “The Second Date and Wait Syndrome!”. He does not call. He does not text. Five days later I am still wondering “What The Hell Happened?”. The first time this happened I actually texted something cute and said, “ I hung out with a really cool guy last week a couple of times, and am wondering how he is:-)”. After no response, I deleted his number. The next time it happened, I just deleted his number after 5 days. He clearly was not calling me back.
I have a couple of ideas about this.
- He just is not into me. Which is hard to swallow as he came on so strong the first two dates, and don’t forget that kiss!
- He is dating someone else and decided he likes her better.
- He was looking for a hookup, and I did not go there.
Looking back, I really think 9 out of 10 times the guy is looking for a hookup. It does not matter his age. The last guy that I had this experience with was 54! The first was 41!
Here is how it goes.
The first date
If he is somewhat of a gentleman, the first date is usually the test date to see if there is an attraction.
The second date
The second date is the hookup date. However, if a girl holds back and the guy realizes she is not in it for only the sex; he disappears. Now that I look back on these situations, I guess I can count myself lucky I went out with gentlemanly jerks that took the hint, and didn’t force themselves on me. So! I am again pulling out the stinger of being blown off, and forging ahead. You know what they say! Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs until you find a prince! So tired of the frogs!!
Now that I look back on these situations, I guess I can count myself lucky I went out with gentlemanly jerks that took the hint, and didn’t force themselves on me. So! I am again pulling out the stinger of being blown off, and forging ahead. You know what they say! Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs until you find a prince! So tired of the frogs!!