Blog, MIND, Soul

Self Actualize

In researching the many different definitions of reinvention not one seemed quite right for a woman who is changing herself into a better, happier, more satisfied version of herself. So I decided to “reinvent” my own definition!


  1. The process of making over partially or completely.
  2. To improve and grow at one’s own pace in a different way than in the past.To become anything you want, and if that doesn’t work then just become something else. (my personal favorite)


Reinventing oneself takes courage and creativity. Many people feel more secure living in their status quo or their existing presence. This is a lovely way to live, and feels safe because a person does not have to do most things that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar for them when they live in their status quo world. However, sometimes people feel stuck in their status quo, and there are certain types of people who need to get “unstuck”. I have found that reinventing myself in different ways whether my mind, body, or soul has helped me get “unstuck”, and has helped motivate me in a different or more successful direction. An example of that is when I realized I would be an “empty nester” in a year and a half, I decided I needed to do something I was passionate about that would fill my time when the boys left for college. I started a blog on how I reinvented myself, which grew into this amazing website that I am hoping will help other women realize their own worth and fabulousness.

Reinventing Yourself

Every woman has a different need, and a different way to reinvent herself. Many, like myself have reinvented themselves several times, and continue to do so because that is, in the end, what becomes part of their lifestyle. To continually grow, change, learn and blossom into a better version of oneself is scary and exciting at the same time. I see it as a journey. As I changed and grew into the woman I am today, I took different roads. Some were wonderfully eye opening and fulfilling. Others…not so much. Those were paths I look at as learning experiences that I file away, try to learn from, not to dwell on, and yes laugh at.

During different stages in my life I worked on different areas of myself. When first divorced I worked on the most difficult part. I took a journey to find out who I was. All of a sudden the woman I had become no longer existed as I saw her. The Wife.  Who is Elyse? What can I do at my highest potential. I often go back to Abraham Laslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and ultimately what he calls Self Actualization. I needed to completely understand my purpose and full potential in this world. However, I had to start from the bottom with understanding what my basic needs were to survive and work my way up. I began to redesign myself, my life and who I wanted to be moving forward into the next chapter of my life.

Hierarchy of Needs

Self Actualization “What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization. It refers to, “The desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that on is capable of becoming.” Abraham Maslow

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Physiological Needs

As I started my journey I realized my first step was to get over myself. I needed to stop wallowing in my own pain and depression. I needed to very basically start feeding myself, eating healthy foods and enough of it to gain my strength back as I had lost 20 pounds in 2 months. It was time to start sleeping to rebalance my health and emotional state.

Safety and Security

Once I was stable physically I needed to focus on securing my financial security and where I was going to live to raise my boys for the next 11-whenever years. I needed to get my corporation in order! That’s what I call my life with my kids now. My corporation. Along the way, I embraced my family, my friends, and all the beautiful people that gave me feelings of love, security, and safety.

Love and Belonging

My friends and family, as well as my therapist, helped to build back up my self-esteem and self-worth. My need to stand on own two feet, and damn it, do it my own way once again thrived! I realized at that point I was given a gift. I was allowed to, for the first time in my life, design my own life and my own future. This was exciting shit!

Self Esteem

I chose the path of designing a new life and future, and to this day I am creating, growing, learning, reinventing and loving myself.

Self -Actualization

I am doing things I never ever thought I would do. I worked in my own private practice and was successful in helping many people help themselves. I built this blog and website, have my own LLC, and my own trademark. I turned my pain and disappointment into an opportunity.

Ways to Reinvent Yourself

  1. Open your eyes and mind to the world outside of your bubble.
    – Traveling, taking photographs, going to lectures on things that you are interested in, international culinary, and reading are a few ways to expand your mind and feed your soul.
  2. Step out of your comfort zone.
    -Whether you are single or married, find groups that have the same interests as you. Meet new people.  There are so many fun new things to experience in this world, such as hiking, photography, running, biking, wine tasting, or any number of activities.
    -Try something you have always wanted to do. I have always wanted to sky dive. I still have not found the courage to do that I am not embarrassed to say. I have always wanted to write. I am doing that now and love it!
  3. Learn a new skill or hobby.
    -Take your camera out, and follow your instinct. Just start shooting what catches your eye.
    -Take a culinary class or a series of them.
    -Learn how to knit.
    -Join a gym.
    -Start a comedy routine.
    -Learn to juggle.
    -Take up ballroom dancing.                                                                                                                                       -Start a blog!

There are so many things waiting for you to discover. Find out what your passion is. Get out there and do it girl!

If  you are interested in learning more about Life Reinvention or would like a Reinvention Consultation please contact me.

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