Ladies, I know it is difficult being single, and trying to navigate the dating world and unknown men after a divorce. Honestly, it is downright terrifying, and I have had my share of this experience. Here’s the thing. You’ve been married or in a long-term relationship .
You know how it works. You also know what not to do, and for the most part, what you should do. Yes, you really do know this whether you choose to admit it or not. After the initial honeymoon period of the first, second, third dates, and whirlwind romance of exploring each other physically the first time, yes, this actually is an awesome part of the process I do have to admit, there comes the time where what I call the Luminescence Stage wears off. The stage where everything is lovely, glowing and wonderful. This is when your true self shows up. The time when life gets in the way, and you know each other well enough that you get comfortable. You begin to speak freely and stop being so overly perfect for your mate. This is the time disagreements start, and you find out how you and your partner solve problems together.
These are the things you should watch out for:
1. Patronizing and Avoids Conflict
If he keeps telling you “you are right baby” after he disagrees with you strongly, and let’s you know you are absolutely wrong. He is patronizing you and trying to avoid conflict. He’s not worth your time.
2. Can’t Find Time For You To Meet His Friends Or Kids
If he keeps coming up with excuses why you don’t need to meet his friends or his kids. Even if he says “Oh baby I just want to have my special time with you because we don’t get that much time for each other.” After a while that just doesn’t cut it. He’s not worth your time.
3. Relationship Controller
He tells you to pick the restaurant or activity for the evening, but when you do he 90% of the time says “yeah I don’t feel like that tonight”. Why even bother asking you? This is a glimpse into what real life with him all the time will be like. He is a relationship controller. He’s not worth your time.
4. It’s All About Him
He asks you for your opinion, and advice on things, and then argues with you and doesn’t consider it. Now this one is a grey area. If it seems he is trying to impress you with himself instead of really wanting to know your ideas. He’s not worth your time.
5. He’s Always The “Good Guy” At The Expense Of You
If your main issue of discontent and argument is that he just wants to be a “good guy” and make everyone happy. That he just wants to do the right thing. However, in doing that he is choosing everyone in his life over you. He is not worth your time. In the beginning, you might be attracted to him because he is such a good loving person. It seems he is completely unselfish. After many times of being disappointed by him in the excuse of helping someone else after he has promised to be there for you, you will quickly come to the understanding that… As he has a perfectly valid reason in his mind because he is being a “good guy”, you are the one he is not choosing. Do not let him make you feel this is your issue. That you have abandonment issues and can’t allow yourself to be loved. That is total bullshit. Know that his need to be accepted and liked by all is his insecurity, and is detrimental to you and your relationship. And that…HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.
Respect yourself, and hold out for the guy that IS worth your time. And remember you do not have to settle for a man or relationship not right for you. You know what you want and need. Wait for it. It will happen.
BE TRUE BEHOLD U